okay, thursday (dec 21) before last was waiting for the 28th, thursday procedure, cutting the prostate through lasor ablation. but that evening in the spand of one hour around nine, could not urinate. awful. called pam feared bladder explosion and took me to emergency room where i fell upon floor then eventually in hands of caretakers who initially used unwise procedures to put in catheter. so painful, 15 ccs morphine. a doc called my surgeon who came thursday morning and showed attentive crew how to properly place in catheter. pam said i was acting crazy the hold time, which eventually prompted the surgeon tell them to untie me. pain had subsisted. so stayed in hospital thrusday through xmas day. very low blood pressure, another uncomfortable period strung to ivs.

this is where i would like to stop and draw things out. as i felt total ennui and wondering why in the first place. i will search and get back to those thoughts and draw out. so i was sent home but again with catheter improperly place. proceeding to meet and get primary care doc next day, assigned via advocate trinity care hospital. young black woman, large head, immediate genius. her assistants redid catheter. back home unto thursday 28th, zap, two days ago then. remember the grateful placement of the anesthesia ring. okay, operation over. spent sunday night and filipino urologist sturgeon, 74, sent me home next day, on the next day home care nurse came in and firmly positioned catheter bag.

doc had said prostate too large prostate was too large. couldn’t use laser ablation. used three methods, settling at i don’t know electric charge scissoring. profusely bloody mess for few days until yesterday’s strong yellow. whew yall.